Slow Living in the Garden with Chronic Illness

Winter

Last winter my Psoriatic Arthritis flared the worst it ever has, and I found myself wondering if there would be any bit of me that was able to enjoy summer. It hurts my heart to even think about the place I was in mentally. How stuck I was. When you don't have the choice to do the things you love, it can feel like your identity is slipping away.

On a particularly bad day, I thought of geese.

Being the lead goose in a formation is hard.⁠ Research has shown that the passage of the leading bird through the air provides an aerodynamic increase in the lift to the bird following behind. This is why geese fly in a V formation.⁠ 

How do geese decide who will lead their journey? Is it the strongest bird? The one with the largest wings?⁠

The truth is much more humbling.⁠

Each goose is equally responsible for leading, at different times.⁠ They take turns.⁠ They share the burden.⁠ 

I see similar patterns in my own life in this season. We cannot always lead our flock. Sometimes our flock needs to lend a wing, and increase our own lift in turn.⁠

Struggling under the weight of extreme fatigue, pain, and inflammation, I had to accept help more than I’m comfortable with. I had to take on a role of rest and recuperation, and put aside responsibilities. 

I learned to be comfortable in the physical and mental discomfort and believe that the people around me want to help me to shoulder that burden. 

This vulnerability grounds me. It makes me strong.

Spring

With spring came new growth and new medication. I've struggled to write about my chronic illness since finding a treatment that helps, because not everyone gets to come out of that place I was in. I'm also waiting for the other shoe to drop, feeling like I am on borrowed time. 

The weight of that knowledge is heavy on my mind any time I celebrate how far I've come or I realize I was able to do more than I could have before my medication change. It also feels like things were so bad, any improvement is seen from the outside as me being 100% "better" by comparison - which is just never going to happen. It's difficult for me to just appreciate the positive changes without that tinge of uncertainty. Autoimmune disease is like that. When so little is understood you are forced to reckon with an ever changing emotional and physical reality and accept the unknown. Otherwise you miss out on enjoying the good times.

It was a long winter, and spring has been full of hope and realized dreams. But we don't have to find the silver lining in everything all of the time. Sometimes there really isn’t one until you look back later and realize how much you’ve grown through what you’ve gone through.

I know in my heart that these struggles have always made me stronger and more empathetic. I hope sharing my struggles can help someone else feel less alone. 

These really hard days don't last. Even when they feel like they will never end, there is always some type of pause and laughter and forgetting of what you’ve gone through, what you’re going through.

I watch what a seed must accomplish before it can become a harvestable, mature plant and wonder if I too am like the seed. Maybe, just maybe, I will form roots and strength where pain and loneliness once was.

This spring I feel tightly encased in my hardened shell, but ready to burst forth and see the sunshine again. But I worry - I know that my love of gardening will test my physical limits, and I need a plan to modify the garden to fit my limitations.

The work of preparing the garden this spring has been harder than ever before, but it wasn't because I planted more - I planted less. It was harder because of my arthritis.

Anyone with chronic illness will tell you that the energy we have is limited. Even medicated and feeling so much better than I did all winter it's still hard to do the things I used to do. 

I cried in frustration multiple times. I almost gave up. I have had to let others help me do the things I was so looking forward to doing.

I can’t say, "I got it done anyway" because that's not how chronic illness works - I didn't finish all my tasks. I felt disappointed and so very angry with my body. Something I love to do has been changed in a way I don't know if I'll ever get back and it's okay if that's an adjustment and it's ok if I spend half my time enjoying it and the other half with tear stained dirt streaks running down my face. 

Two things can be true. Life isn't a straight line path we get to walk down, even on a moment to moment basis there will be ups and downs.

Accessible Garden Planning

I have the luxury of space, of sprawling land to wander and call home. I have the luxury of time, to spend planning what I'll grow where, to dig in the earth. I have the luxury of knowledge, gathered through my failures. 

I can grow my food and watch it from the comfort of this space, this sanctuary I am creating on our land.

These things are not afforded to everyone. Accessible sustainability should be the norm, but it is not.

This season, I took a few steps in order to make it possible for me to garden WITH my chronic illness, not despite it. The first was to accept that I wouldn’t grow as much as I have previously. The second was to set up elevated garden beds.

Since gardening involves a fair amount of kneeling, I knew I had to find a way around that, and elevated beds seemed to be the way to go. I began to research elevated beds, looking for a solution that would work for me.

It turned out that solution was staring me right in the face.

As we began a deep spring clean of our basement my eyes landed on two raised wooden retail tables from a store closing sale that have been sitting in storage for years. We didn’t have to buy anything, we didn’t even have to BUILD anything.

I dragged them outside and got them into position, then I wiped them down and drilled drainage holes into the plywood “floor” of the bed. A layer of weed barrier, then small sticks and top soil blended with last season’s compost, and I had two elevated beds. Our food waste would feed our plants, and our plants would feed us.

I also installed olla watering pots in our garden beds.

Ollas keep your plants watered through a process called soil moisture tension. When the soil around the olla is dry, the water is pulled out through the pot’s “pores”, or microscopic holes in the unglazed clay, and makes its way to your thirsty plants. If the soil is already moist, the water stays in the pot.

With the ollas installed, I would only need to water the gardens every 3-5 days, and instead of standing there holding a hose for what felt like hours I could simply fill the olla pot with water and call it done.

The last thing I did was to get ahead of the weeding. We still had one main in-ground garden bed for larger plants like our corn and squash, and I knew that bending and kneeling to battle the weeds would not be an option any more. I combated this by spreading a very thick layer of straw over the entire bed before I planted anything.

Summer

My accessible garden plan is working. We’ve pulled a spare table out to give me a spot to sit and rest by the sunflowers. It has become a sanctuary for me. I am frustrated at times with how little I have been able to grow in comparison to years past, but I appreciate that I do not have to spent hours tending the garden every week if I’m not able to. The garden will be just fine without me for a bit. I let go and let nature take over.

In August, the garden becomes a jungle dense with life, the most self-sufficient it will be as established plants require less and less of my daily attention.

I do not take for granted that the systems I labored to put in place all year long have finally paid off, the dividends materializing in the form of bell peppers, beans, squash, broccoli, chard and more. But I still like to think I am needed in this season, if only to fend off errant pests and the occasional drought. Feeling needed in the garden is one of the most fulfilling pieces of working with the land.

I’m still processing some disappointment as I've watched other gardeners with their huge lush garden beds, and it's felt like another form of grieving my life before chronic illness. I was able to do that once, and now I can't.

Yes, I am making the most of my circumstance, and yes - my medications have allowed me to return to the activities that make me "me" to some degree. But unless you have chronic illness, you can't understand how hard it is to know things will never be exactly the same as they were when you were healthy.

I am proud of what I have accomplished - I may not have grown the usual quantity of plants, but I have learned to appreciate what I have, accept and support my body, and dedicate time to things that make me happy.

I could go on forever about how chronic illness forces you to put things in perspective in a way that gives as much as it takes, but I'll leave it at that. I went from hating getting up early to go to work at my office job in a call center to making excuses to get up early to tend to the garden, grow our own food and flowers, create art and just enjoy nature. At it’s root, no matter how much or how little I grow - this is what matters.

Your dream life is just one decision away from becoming reality - what small steps can you take today to bring yourself closer to your dreams?

Sustainable Swaps For Your Home

The Cottage Peach is reader-supported. When you purchase through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission at no additional cost to you. All opinions are our own.

Sustainable swaps can be a fun way to incorporate more eco-friendly practices into your slow living journey. Just a couple of important notes:

First of all, it is better to use up what you already have even if it is a disposable product before making your swap.

And second, many  ‘effortless’ swaps are not effortless unless you come from a place of privilege. There are many who cannot make these swaps due to lack of resources or varying health conditions. So, while these changes can be a fun way to feel more connected to the earth and our environment, real change happens on a global and national level with our leadership. We must enact policies that protect our planet and regulate the huge corporations that are currently leaving us, the consumers, to clean up the pieces of their dirty work.

That said, here are some ideas for what you can swap out to save money and, at least slightly, limit your personal impact on the planet.

Windex 🡪 Vinegar

The benefit to opting out of chemical cleaners is two-fold: less plastic AND fewer toxic chemicals. The truth is there’s no one really policing the labeling of ‘toxic-free’ cleaners, so these labels can’t be trusted.

Vinegar works as a disinfectant to some degree; it will kill E-coli and Salmonella. It is not as powerful as bleach, but is very effective as a general household cleaner. 

We use it on mirrors, windows, sinks, shower walls…the list goes on and on!

Because of its acidic nature, vinegar should not be used to clean stone (including granite, marble, and quartz) or hardwood flooring.

How to Make Vinegar House Cleaner

This cleaner requires only two ingredients: vinegar and water.

We generally eyeball the ratio of vinegar to water, but a good general rule is 3 Tablespoons of vinegar to 1 cup of water.

Fast Fashion 🡪 Secondhand Clothes

Did you know the production of cotton for fast fashion is second only to oil mining as the worst industry in the world for harming the planet? The impact of the growth of genetically-modified cotton seeds and the use of toxic pesticides has resulted in entire villages being poisoned by their water supply. Buying secondhand eliminates this aspect from the supply chain, and it’s fun!

Tips For Shopping Secondhand:

• Make a list of items you are looking for, so if you run across something you want you can double check whether it’s something you need.

• Look often and be patient! The stock of secondhand stores, online and in person, changes daily.

• Know your measurements. Buy a flexible tape measure and write down your chest, waist, hip, and inseam so you can quickly reference it while shopping.

My Favorite Places to Shop Secondhand: 

• Poshmark has a huge variety. One feature I particularly like is that your payment isn’t released to the seller until your item has arrived and you’ve approved it.

• Etsy sellers list thousands and thousands of vintage clothing items.

• Local thrift stores are the most fun in terms of feeling as though you’re on a treasure hunt. Skip the chains if you can in favor of smaller stores.

Disposable Plastic Water Bottle 🡪 Glass or Metal Water Bottle

Did you know roughly 2,480,000 tons of plastic bottles and other containers are tossed out (not recycled) every year. Plastic bottles make up a significant portion of this waste. They are also one of the main sources of pollution and pose a serious threat to our environment and the animals we share it with. There are so many reusable water bottles available. In a pinch, a mason jar or old sauce jar will do just fine. 

I love these metal water bottles from Package Free Shop

Disposable Plastic Containers 🡪 Glass Storage

Mason jars can hold anything a plastic baggie can, and are also useful pantry containers. We use them all over our home to hold leftovers, beans, soups, flowers, overnight oats, and even as soap dispensers.

A variety of tops are available for storage, smoothies, oil dispensing, and sipping, and cozies available to keep your coffee or tea warm.

If fitting mason jars in your fridge is not the best option for you, Package Free Shop has these great glass food storage containers with bamboo lids which stack and allow for an organized refrigerator. 

Here’s my top choices for mason jar accessories:

Plastic Straws 🡪 Glass, Metal, or Bamboo Straws*

*Note that doing away with plastic straws altogether is not an option, as many people need access to bendable straws to eat or drink.

In the US alone, people discard 500 million straws every day, or more than 180 billion a year. That’s about 1.4 million kilograms of plastic sent to landfills (and the ocean) every day!

Here’s my top choices for reusable straws:

Plastic Shopping Bags 🡪 Reusable Bags

Hopefully you’ve already jumped on this bandwagon, but if not, here’s a reason you should: Plastic bags are used for only 20 minutes on average, but take hundreds of year to decompose, and in that time can poison or kill countless wildlife. 

Any tote bag will do, and they can often be found cheap or free. Or you can grab these reusable string netted market bags from Package Free Shop by clicking here.

Prepackaged Tea Bags 🡪 Loose Leaf Tea and Strainer

‘Paper’ tea bags almost always contain some plastic, and can be full of pesticides, toxins, and dioxins. Epichlorhydrine is the pesticide most often found in tea bags. It’s known to cause cancer in animals exposed to it.

As a bonus, using leaf tea means a wider choice of options and the possibility to mix your own varieties.

Tea strainers are available in practical, pretty, and humorous options. Some are more durable than others, so take a look at the construction before purchasing.

Here’s a few of my top choices for reusable loose leaf tea strainers:

Dryer Sheets 🡪 Wool Dryer Balls

Wool dryer balls are a better option all around than toxin laden fabric softener and wasteful, one-time-use dryer sheets. Not only are these products bad for the environment, their contents are also absorbed by your clothing, towels, and bedding, and then transferred to your skin.

Wool dryer balls are fun to make, or you can grab this set of three from Package Free Shop by clicking here.

Paper Towels 🡪 Rags

Although convenient and sometimes necessary for really gross messes, single use paper towels are not the best option because they create a significant waste problem. 254 tons a year in the US, to be specific!

Rags are an easy substitute. Most everyone has clothes or towels or sheets they’ve worn out, or relatives who do. Cut to shape with pinking shears, those items make very effective cleaning towels.

We like to cut our rags into a few standard sizes for use in different situations, but the truth is you could simply rip a cotton sheet up with your hands and be good to go.

If rags are not your style, Swedish dishcloths are a great option. One Swedish dish cloth can replace 17 rolls of paper towels. 

I use Package Free Shop Swedish dishcloths, which are made of 70% cellulose and 30% organic cotton. They are 100% natural, biodegradable, and they’re much cheaper than paper towels! Click here to shop at Package Free.

Paper Napkins 🡪 Cloth Napkins

Cloth napkins make even a pb&j feel a bit fancy. I like to look for vintage ones whenever I go thrifting or antiquing. I’ve also been given some by older relatives who were delighted I was being old-fashioned.

People worry that using rags or cloth napkins will hugely increase their laundry loads, but we have not found that to be true. Only the dirtiest of rags need to be washed separately, and the great majority of the time the rags we use can go straight in with our towels.

Paper Tissues 🡪 Cloth Hankies

Stay with me here – I know this is a polarizing idea! Plenty of people will say it’s just gross, and fair enough, but for me the thought of blowing my nose with a bit of fabric and then putting the fabric in the laundry is not an issue. Package Free Shop has the last tissue box you’ll ever need - click here to grab it.

Washing Your Hair Every Day 🡪 Dry Shampoo

Dry shampoo allows you to wash your hair less frequently, lowering water consumption in the shower and allowing you to use less shampoo overall. Spending just 3 minutes less in the shower can help save over 6 gallons of water.

If you buy a dry shampoo, look for one that does not come as an aerosol spray, like this one. Better yet, you can make your own. Arrowroot or cornstarch make effective dry shampoos and are perfect for light blonde hair, but you can also add various ingredients depending on your hair color.

How to Make Dry Shampoo

• Mix 2 Tablespoons of arrowroot or cornstarch with 2 Tablespoons of coloring powder:  

• For darker blonde or medium-brown hair, add cocoa powder.

• For black hair, add cocoa powder and activated charcoal.

• For red hair, add cinnamon.

Disposable Wipes 🡪 Washable Cotton Facecloths

Somewhere around 20 million pounds of disposable wipes are thrown away every DAY in the US. Most end up in landfills, and despite claims to the contrary, most are not biodegradable and do not rapidly break down. Any cotton facecloth will do. I love to use old flannel PJs for this. Or you can buy these wipes from Marley’s Monsters.

Swiffer Mops 🡪 Reusable Mops and Cleaning Pads

Swiffer mops are convenient and user-friendly, but have you ever thought about how much trash those single use pads generate? Not to mention the chemicals in the cleaning solutions or the plastic bottles that contain those solutions.

Disposable Swiffer pads are made from polyester, which is derived from fossil fuels, which are, of course, contributing to the degradation of our ecosystems and wildlife. 

A simple solution is to hang on to your dry Swiffer stick if you already have one, but replace those disposable pads with terry cloth. You can often find terry cloth in the scrap bin at your local fabric store. Or, cut up an old towel instead.

Cut the terrycloth a little bigger than the disposable Swiffer pads to allow for any shrinkage.

For the Wet-Jet mops, a great replacement is a steam mop - click here for the one we use. I find them so much easier to use: just add water and you’re good to go. Steam removes dirt and bacteria, and leaves my floors looking and feeling much cleaner.

Wrapping Paper 🡪 Reusable Bags or Alternative Wrapping

Every year Americans use 4.6 million pounds of wrapping paper. A good bit of that ends up in a landfill. Wrapping paper with glitter, foil, plastic, texture, bows, tape, or sticky tags on it cannot be recycled.

What To Use Instead of Wrapping Paper

• It used to be common to use the comics from newspapers, and that’s still a fun option. Any part of the newspaper will do, really. 

• Save the brown paper that comes in the cardboard boxes shipped to your house. Everyone loves a brown paper package tied up with string! Brown shopping bags are also perfect for this look.

• Sheet music, book pages, posters, and magazines can all make pretty wrapping.

• Using fabric as wrapping is a fun option.

• A pretty tin is a great way to package a present. You can often find them at thrift stores.

• If you do use disposable wrapping paper, be sure it’s paper only. Use paper bows and tape and don’t forget to recycle!

Plastic Wrap 🡪 Beeswax Wraps

You can make beeswax wraps at home using fabric, beeswax, resin, and jojoba oil, but in my experience it’s a bit of a messy and time consuming project. Regardless of whether you shop or make, they are great for wrapping sandwiches or snacks and cover bowls.  They should last for about a year, and most are compostable. Here’s some you can buy from Package Free Shop.

What is your favorite sustainable swap? Let me know in the comments!

How to Grow, Care for and Arrange Hydrangea Flowers

The Cottage Peach is reader-supported. When you purchase through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission at no additional cost to you. All opinions are our own.

I’ve been somewhat frantically snipping blooms for the kitchen, because the shift of seasons is in the air and I’m determined to make the most of every summer moment before it’s too late. 

Slow living is all about letting go of worries about the future and living in the moment so we can fully enjoy the present. When I smell fall in the air and feel a moment of panic that a long, cold winter is on its way, that’s my cue to take a deep breath and make an effort to notice and enjoy what’s happening around me. One of the first places I’m likely to turn in order to reground myself is my garden.

Flowers That Bloom in August and September

The biggest show going on outside my window (in zone 6) at this time of year is being hosted by my Endless Summer Hydrangea bushes. Hydrangea bushes are at their happiest after the worst of the summer heat has passed. In July, they can look almost as though they are dying, with drooping leaves and flowers that look a bit pinched and dehydrated, even with consistent supplemental watering.

In August and September the bushes grow taller and more hardy-looking, and absolutely overflow with flowers. Hydrangea blooms are so large, just one stem in a small vase or jar can be a striking moment on a counter or bedside table. I’m lucky to have more than a few bushes, though, with a seemingly unlimited supply of flowers, so I decided to use quite a few stems in a larger vessel.

Choosing a Container for Flower Arrangements

Vases are great, but just about anything that will hold water can be used for a flower arrangement, whether a small one or one as large as I wanted to put together. Many things we have at home can easily be repurposed, including bottles, cans, and drinking glasses. In the case of a large arrangement, the choices are endless.

There are also all sorts of options available to purchase which are not intended to be used for cut flowers, but would make for an interesting and unusual arrangement. For example, any of these items would make for a beautiful arrangement:

• Clay planter

• Galvanized metal milk pail

• Stoneware fermenting crock

• Ceramic pitcher

• Metal watering can

• Large bowl planter

In this case, I chose to use a large Ohio stoneware fermenting crock for my hydrangea bouquet. In the past I have used it for making sauerkraut and storing utensils. I make intentional purchases by prioritizing owning things which can be used for multiple purposes. That way, in the end, I need to buy, store and clean fewer things, which is better for me, my budget, and the environment.

Here’s a few options if you’re looking to purchase something new for flower arranging that would be multi-purpose:

How to Arrange Flowers in a Large Container

As I started placing the hydrangea flowers into my fermenting crock, I found the flower stems were flopping all over the place, making it difficult to form them into any sort of pleasing arrangement. I also realized getting new, clean water into the crock to keep the flowers fresh was going to be a bit of a pain. I was able to solve both of these problems with one simple solution: I put a smaller Ball mason jar inside the crock to hold the stems upright.

I can’t believe it took me this long to think of it! It was really effective in keeping the stems upright and allowing me to arrange them in a way that looked purposeful and pretty. A bonus is that using a smaller container inside of a larger one reduces water waste, as there’s no need to fill that larger container with water. That’s less water wasted when I change it out, and less water I have to pay for.

How to pick Hydrangea Flowers

Like most flowers, hydrangeas appreciate being treated with a bit of care when they are picked. Here’s what you’ll need to cut your Hydrangea:

-A pair of flower snips. I use Felcos for pruning and love them, so I tend to use those when cutting flowers as well since I always have them handy. There are less expensive options available, though, if your tool will only be used for cutting flowers, such as these flower snips from Terrain.

 -A bucket with a bit of water. While the ‘hydra’ in hydrangea does not, in fact, derive from the word for water, but rather from the fact that the person who named them thought their shape was reminiscent of a water pitcher, hydrangeas are water-hungry plants that produce water-hungry flowers. Putting the stems directly into water after cutting will prolong their vase life and prevent them from drooping while you finish gathering the rest of your flowers.

Place your bucket in a shady spot. Using your snips, cut at the desired length, just above a set of leaves. Strip the leaves from at least the bottom few inches of your stem, and all the way up if you prefer that look. Doing this outside makes for less of a mess to clean up indoors.

How to Make Cut Flowers Last 

For best results, cut-flower food should be added to the water in your vessel. There are many ready-made options for sale, but you can also mix up your own from ingredients you likely have in the house. 

Here’s a recipe for flower food: 

• 1 Quart of water

• 2 Tablespoons of lemon juice

• 1 Tablespoon of sugar

• ½ Teaspoon of bleach (The bleach is not food, but rather a way to inhibit fungal and bacterial growth.)

One thing that will help hydrangeas in particular last longer in a vessel is to dunk them in cold water when you get back into the house. That water can then be used to water other plants, so it doesn’t go to waste. Alternatively, cold water can be run from the faucet over the blooms. Give them a gentle shake, and they’re ready for arranging.

The next important step before you start arranging is to make sure that if you’ve left any leaves on the stems, they will not make contact with the water in the vessel. Rotting leaves will spread bacteria, which is not only bad for the flowers themselves, but creates an unpleasant look and smell.

Finally, the water in the vessel should be changed often – every two days or so. When changing the water, each stem should be cut slightly shorter, to provide a fresh area through which the flower can take in the water.

If you follow the steps above, your flowers should look fresh and healthy for a week or more longer than they would otherwise have.

What Kind of Hydrangea to Grow

Winter is coming, there’s no denying it. Before it’s too late, take a look around at the bits of summer still remaining, and find a way to make the most of them, whether that’s going out for ice cream, walking on the beach, or cutting flowers to bring a bit of that summer inside with you. And if, like me, you don’t look forward to long, dark days, you can skip right over them and take a peek into the future, too, dreaming about what you might like to plant when the light returns.

If you’d like to grow hydrangeas yourself, there are two things to consider: do you have a sunny or a shady spot in mind, and which variety looks most attractive to you? There is a hydrangea variety for just about every garden spot. Some, in particular the Panicled or Paniculata varieties, want full sun, with a bit of afternoon shade in very hot gardening zones. Big leaf hydrangea, on the other hand, do well in shade or partial shade. I have stretched that a bit and have some in both sunny and shady spots, and while the ones in the shade definitely suffer less in the high heat of summer, I haven’t lost any bushes to the sun.

How to take care of Hydrangea plants

All hydrangea varieties are easy to care for, requiring only a bit of cleanup once a year to remove dead wood. Pruning for shape can also be done once a year, but is not strictly necessary. It’s important to note whether your variety blooms on new or old wood, and to time your pruning accordingly.

All varieties of hydrangea love water, and will do best if it’s provided consistently. Those in the shade can go without supplemental watering for the most part after the first year or two, while those in the sun will thank you for regular attention throughout the years.

On any variety of hydrangea, deadheading the bushes once or twice a summer will extend your bloom time and keep the bushes looking fresh.

How to change the color of hydrangea flowers

There are a few reasons the Endless Summer variety is my favorite, and what I grow so many of. I love the way they look, and that the bushes bloom from the end of May through to the first frost. But I also love that I can adjust the soil to encourage either blue or pink flowers. 

Each spring, I add Holly-tone fertilizer to my soil. This increases its acidity, which results in blooms in beautiful shades of blue and violet. Without that acidity the blooms will grow in shades of pink, which are also gorgeous. Because I can switch it back and forth as I’d like, it’s as if I have two plants in one spot.

I’d love to hear from you in the comments. What’s beautiful in your life today?